Tampa Bay Rays drop “Devil” from Name, Piss-off Satan

Lucifer is a man of his word.  This is clear, as judging from the attached photo of Hell-fire spouting out of the Rays’ Jonny Gomes.

Up until this year, Tampa Bay’s baseball team was known as the “Devil Rays”.  They sucked.  This year, they are the “Rays” – no more “Devil.”  A little known fact in all of this is the “Faustian” compact the team made with Beelzebub, in which they traded in their souls for a World Series ring.  The agreement was made, and forged in pine tar on the slopes of Mount Doom.

However, as it was not prohibited in the contract expressly, Tampa Bay dropped the “Devil” from its name as it entered the season.  And, as this is a breach, Lucifer has awaited until now to exact revenge.  And revenge will be had!

I will be tuned in to the game this evening, as the fourth circle of Hell opens up and swallows the Rays, permanently.

(Image courtesy of Getty)

A Cubs and Northwestern fan, Joe Moag is a major sports junkie, and although he still runs, he hasn't been able to dunk anything more than a donut for decades.

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